afroFORUM

In the year after Colony 195, the afroCLAN founded a place to gather, the last bastion of hope on the Interbuttz. That place is the afroFORUM.
 
HomeHome  CalendarCalendar  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  

Share | 
 

 The Jokes thread

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2, 3  Next
AuthorMessage
The Paranoid Android
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 1068
Age : 25
Location : Jupiter
Weapon of Choice : I love that song...
Archenemies : none, thanks.
Reputation : 8
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: The Jokes thread   Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:52 pm

Be they good jokes, bad jokes, long jokes, or anti jokes, lets tell em here.


I'll start:

A man walks into a bar... he's an alcoholic and is destroying his family.


Whats red and Invisible? No tomatoes.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://ukelelenogood.blogspot.com
afroFILMS

avatar

Male Number of posts : 14
Age : 25
Location : The border of existence and non-existence
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:08 pm

So a Jew, a Black man, and an Irish Catholic walk into a bar. What a great, integrated community we have.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://afroforum.forumotion.com
The Paranoid Android
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 1068
Age : 25
Location : Jupiter
Weapon of Choice : I love that song...
Archenemies : none, thanks.
Reputation : 8
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:56 pm

whats brown and rhymes with snoop?


dr dre
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://ukelelenogood.blogspot.com
Red Leader
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 276
Age : 25
Location : Central Dogma
Weapon of Choice : Depot Tech
Archenemies : Mitch Hedburg
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:26 pm

Whats a bad thing to preform an aboriton on? A grenade....Garin will get it at least.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://afroSITE.net (not quite done)
The Paranoid Android
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 1068
Age : 25
Location : Jupiter
Weapon of Choice : I love that song...
Archenemies : none, thanks.
Reputation : 8
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:17 am

afroGUNNER wrote:
Whats a bad thing to preform an aboriton on? A grenade....Garin will get it at least.
you don't need a doctor, you need the bomb squad, Hey-ooooooooooo
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://ukelelenogood.blogspot.com
Red Leader
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 276
Age : 25
Location : Central Dogma
Weapon of Choice : Depot Tech
Archenemies : Mitch Hedburg
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:09 pm

Heres a joke in math form....staircase+pregnant lady+rocking horse=fun, staircase+pregnant lady-rocking horse=abortion
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://afroSITE.net (not quite done)
The Paranoid Android
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 1068
Age : 25
Location : Jupiter
Weapon of Choice : I love that song...
Archenemies : none, thanks.
Reputation : 8
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Sat Feb 07, 2009 6:28 pm

how many babies does it take to paint a wall?

1 if you throw it hard enough
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://ukelelenogood.blogspot.com
Red Leader
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 276
Age : 25
Location : Central Dogma
Weapon of Choice : Depot Tech
Archenemies : Mitch Hedburg
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Sun Feb 08, 2009 12:53 am

JUMP GYSPY! JUMP!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://afroSITE.net (not quite done)
The Paranoid Android
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 1068
Age : 25
Location : Jupiter
Weapon of Choice : I love that song...
Archenemies : none, thanks.
Reputation : 8
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Sun Feb 08, 2009 1:29 am

afroGUNNER wrote:
JUMP GYSPY! JUMP!
SHOOT IT IN THE HEAD!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://ukelelenogood.blogspot.com
Red Leader
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 276
Age : 25
Location : Central Dogma
Weapon of Choice : Depot Tech
Archenemies : Mitch Hedburg
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:53 pm

Kaiju-senpai wrote:
afroGUNNER wrote:
JUMP GYSPY! JUMP!
SHOOT IT IN THE HEAD!

ZOMBIES KILLED YOUR FAMILY, HIS AX ON FIRE! SHOOT EM IN DA HEAD!!!!!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://afroSITE.net (not quite done)
The Paranoid Android
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 1068
Age : 25
Location : Jupiter
Weapon of Choice : I love that song...
Archenemies : none, thanks.
Reputation : 8
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:16 pm

whats red and smells like blue paint?

blue paint.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://ukelelenogood.blogspot.com
Red Leader
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 276
Age : 25
Location : Central Dogma
Weapon of Choice : Depot Tech
Archenemies : Mitch Hedburg
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Tue Feb 10, 2009 11:00 pm

Who's the only person to ever beat Chuck Norris in a fistfight?

Rick Grimes
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://afroSITE.net (not quite done)
Wintermute is dead

avatar

Male Number of posts : 646
Age : 25
Location : Evacuation Shelter 033
Weapon of Choice : Low Orbit Ion Cannon
Archenemies : Red Team
Reputation : 27
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:50 am

The guy who betrayed Anne Frank to the Nazis is eating lunch with his wife in an Amsterdam café. They both order the same thing: a cup of tea, soup, and a bowl of oatmeal. So first the waiter brings the tea, and when he's setting it down, the guy and his wife notice that the waiter has his thumbs in the cups. They both kind of shrug and laugh a little, but go ahead and start drinking the tea. Next comes the soup, and once again the waiter has his thumbs hooked over the edge of the bowls so far that they're actually in the soup. This time the guy and his wife are a little more irritated, but they figure what the hell, and go ahead and eat the soup. Then the oatmeal arrives, and sure enough, the waiter's got both thumbs deep into the oatmeal. He sets the bowls down and licks his thumbs clean as he returns to the kitchen. The wife has completely lost her appetite, and just picks at her oatmeal on the opposite side of the bowl from where the waiter had had his thumb. The guy eats as much of the oatmeal as he can, but leaves the area around the hole left by the waiter's thumb untouched. The waiter drops off the check, and the guy leaves some money on the table. The wife does a quick count of the guilders and realizes that her husband is leaving an almost 30 percent tip. "Are you crazy? That waiter was awful! He had his thumbs in every item of food that he brought to the table. And now you're going to reward him with such a handsome tip?" The guy looks at her as he's putting on his hat and says, "Honey, have a heart. I think he's retarded."



Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, ones a red head, one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and their was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of you're possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau-" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.



Why did the chicken cross the road?

Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late.

Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removalists van as it attempted to make its way home.

Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman.

"Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flys". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
The Paranoid Android
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 1068
Age : 25
Location : Jupiter
Weapon of Choice : I love that song...
Archenemies : none, thanks.
Reputation : 8
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:01 pm

Kame-sempai wrote:
The guy who betrayed Anne Frank

A woman betrayed Anne Frank...
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://ukelelenogood.blogspot.com
HelenaHellTM

avatar

Female Number of posts : 10
Age : 24
Location : New Port Richey, Florida
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-12

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Sun Feb 15, 2009 1:56 pm

Kaijuu-senpai wrote:
Kame-sempai wrote:
The guy who betrayed Anne Frank

A woman betrayed Anne Frank...




OWNED


dude look, HIPPIES
flower afro
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://myspace.com/_helenahell
Red Leader
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 276
Age : 25
Location : Central Dogma
Weapon of Choice : Depot Tech
Archenemies : Mitch Hedburg
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:27 pm

I LOL'D
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://afroSITE.net (not quite done)
Wintermute is dead

avatar

Male Number of posts : 646
Age : 25
Location : Evacuation Shelter 033
Weapon of Choice : Low Orbit Ion Cannon
Archenemies : Red Team
Reputation : 27
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:28 pm

Here's some anti humor for ya,

Mitch Hedberg is dead.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Red Leader
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 276
Age : 25
Location : Central Dogma
Weapon of Choice : Depot Tech
Archenemies : Mitch Hedburg
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:29 pm

Kame-sempai wrote:
Here's some anti humor for ya,

Mitch Hedberg is dead.


Your going to hell.....
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://afroSITE.net (not quite done)
The Paranoid Android
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 1068
Age : 25
Location : Jupiter
Weapon of Choice : I love that song...
Archenemies : none, thanks.
Reputation : 8
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Sun Feb 15, 2009 4:20 pm

Kame-sempai wrote:
Here's some anti humor for ya,

Mitch Hedberg is dead.

fucking awesome.

moar anti-humor!

Why'd the clown fall off the unicycle?
He was shot in the head.

_________________
I fucks pianos.
- Rick Ross
Spoiler:
 
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://ukelelenogood.blogspot.com
Red Leader
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 276
Age : 25
Location : Central Dogma
Weapon of Choice : Depot Tech
Archenemies : Mitch Hedburg
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Tue Feb 17, 2009 6:40 pm

No Mitch Hedbergs death is not awesome dammit,
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://afroSITE.net (not quite done)
The Paranoid Android
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 1068
Age : 25
Location : Jupiter
Weapon of Choice : I love that song...
Archenemies : none, thanks.
Reputation : 8
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:17 pm

afroGUNNER wrote:
No Mitch Hedbergs death is not awesome dammit,

Not awesome, but the joke was funny.

Also, I believe Mitch would want to be remembered best with jokes. So in honor of Mitch... lets all post MH jokes.




I have an orange wallet... in case i wanna buy a deer... that joke makes no sense...

*tears up a little* goodnight sweet prince

_________________
I fucks pianos.
- Rick Ross
Spoiler:
 
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://ukelelenogood.blogspot.com
Red Leader
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 276
Age : 25
Location : Central Dogma
Weapon of Choice : Depot Tech
Archenemies : Mitch Hedburg
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:54 pm

I have an infestation of Koala-Bears, shit is so much better than cockroaches.


BAWWW
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://afroSITE.net (not quite done)
The Paranoid Android
Administrator
avatar

Male Number of posts : 1068
Age : 25
Location : Jupiter
Weapon of Choice : I love that song...
Archenemies : none, thanks.
Reputation : 8
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:27 am

I find that duck's opinions of me are highly ifluenced by whether or not I have bread.



*sniffles* NO MORE TEARS

_________________
I fucks pianos.
- Rick Ross
Spoiler:
 
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://ukelelenogood.blogspot.com
Wintermute is dead

avatar

Male Number of posts : 646
Age : 25
Location : Evacuation Shelter 033
Weapon of Choice : Low Orbit Ion Cannon
Archenemies : Red Team
Reputation : 27
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Wed Feb 18, 2009 5:47 am

I don't remember any Hedberg jokes well enough to quote them so I'll post some more anti humor.


What did the deaf, blind, and paralyzed boy get for Christmas?
Cancer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
what do you call a nigger?


By his name you insensitive ass.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple.
Being raped.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A Jew and an African Legislator walk into a restaurant. They eat dinner over casual conversation, leave a respectable tip and drive home.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Whats worse than being a Jew in 2006?

A. Being a Jew in 1942.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
What did batman say to robin to get him in the batmobile?
"Get in the batmobile"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
what do you get when you cross a hairdryer with a 747?

nothing - you can't do that, these pieces of technology are fundamentally incompatible!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the blonde jump off the bridge?
She had severe depression stemming from a poor self-esteem. She had been contemplating suicide for years and even mentioned it to a friend. He thought she was just trying to get attention and told her to "suck it up". Feeling completely alone she decided to end it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

it was dead
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Wintermute is dead

avatar

Male Number of posts : 646
Age : 25
Location : Evacuation Shelter 033
Weapon of Choice : Low Orbit Ion Cannon
Archenemies : Red Team
Reputation : 27
Registration date : 2009-02-04

PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   Wed Feb 18, 2009 5:50 am

Kaijuu-senpai wrote:
Kame-sempai wrote:
Here's some anti humor for ya,

Mitch Hedberg is dead.

fucking awesome.

moar anti-humor!

Why'd the clown fall off the unicycle?
He was shot in the head.

Why did the Clown fall off the swing?

Someone shot him in the face
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: The Jokes thread   

Back to top Go down
 
The Jokes thread
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 3Go to page : 1, 2, 3  Next
 Similar topics
-
» Roland's Jokes
» Best Fight Thread!
» Funny Fights Thread!
» NECA Toy Fair 2011 reveal thread
» Eternal Dream Official "LOL Pictures" Thread

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
afroFORUM :: Back of the Fridge-
Jump to: