Video Games and Related Issues

Thread is for discussing all video games, and related issues [as the title implies].


I found an article in this month's issue of Official Xbox Magazine, and I thought it was relevant to our interests. [with some commentary thrown in for good measure from me]

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DISMISSIVE ATTITUDES AND DANGEROUS ASSUMPTIONS MAKE NON-GAMERS AS DESTRUCTIVE TO OUR HOBBY AS A CLUELESS CHIMP WITH A CHAINSAW. HERE'S 23 OF OUR PET PEEVES ABOUT IGNORANCE THAT YOU CAN HELP FIX.

For years, we've endured the criticism of people who just don't understand our hobby. "Gamers are immature. Gamers are immoral. Gamers are wasting time and money on silly, stupid toys."

Nag nag nag. Blah blah blah.
Now, with those same people snatching up Wiis and fumbling through Guitar Hero, suddenly they thinkg they "get" this gaming thing. Don't get us wrong - we're thrilled to see people having fun with Scene It? and asking how DLC works. To those people, we say --- jump in. [no, not really. actually i'd like it better if you went off and fucked yourself. and then shot yourself in the foot, because you are the reason for number 23] But we still see just as many folks rolling their eyes as they pass the game aisle and smirking dismissively when we say we're looking forward to a weekend of nothing but Call of Duty. The ignorant assumptions, the inane comments, the condescending tone... it makes us want to scream.
But you don't have to stand for their judgmental cluelessness. Here's a big honkin' list of wrongs that you have the power to set right. They don't kow - but you can show them. In fact, read it out loud to them. Through a bullhorn. An inch from their face.

#1 You Can't Have It Both Ways
Parents, politicians, and pundits are constantly scolding kids for spending too much time with video games. At the same time, however, they casually mock anyone who dares play as an adult. Which age group is being irresponsible [and immature! don't forget that!] again? Make up your minds!

#2 Look Who's Talking
if you spend most days building kitten orphanages, and serving hot soup to homeless unicorns, then yes, you can tell us that gaming is "a waste of time." If you sit on the couch instead - watching sports, voting for reality TV, or browsing celebrity-gossip blogs - then please look up "hypocrite" in the dictionary.

#3 Control Yourself
That gamepad is not a rock and you are not a rampaging chimpanzee. Smashing the buttons with all your ferocious might is not going to make your character any faster, stronger, or smarter. It will probably break our $50 piece of equipment, however, so knock it off! [dumbasses...]

#4 Yes, This Stuff is Expensive
If we ask you to take a step back from the HDTV, to wash your greasy Cheeto-caked mitts, or to grab the "guest controller," we have every right. These are delicate tools. Don't get all offended and don't look at us like we're anal-retentive freaks. [yea! im don't like it there! so you can get any thought of my ass... o...]

#5 It's Your Fault
Not the game's. Not the controller's. Not the connections'. Not the lightning's. Yours. [now wait a minute... the lightning messes with the controllers connection to the console which in turn lags the game... that is a legitimate reason for me to get beat...]

#6 Quit Quoting Us Out of Context
No matter how many times you repeat the line for the amusement of our friends and family, "Can you help me level my Paladin tonight?" still made perfect sense within the framework and rules of the game. [psh paladins are gay... try a real class like the orc choppah.]

#7 "Hallo 3" For the Sony Wii Does Not Exist
It will never exist. When we patiently try to explain this to you, please don't blame us for you mixed information. [read: your stupidity] Gamers have not organized themselves into a secret, worldwide conspiracy merely to keep the best titles away from you. [its just that you're stupid] Maybe you're just wrong. [stupid]

#8 Shush!
If you don't like people talking during movies, walking in front of the television screen, or singing over your favorite songs, then - for the love of all that's holy - don't interrupt us during a game's cutscene. [especially the ff ones that you've already seen 200 times because there is no way to skip them and you just can't beat that boss to save your life! or tidas' for that matter...] The alien, the dragon, and the talking spellbook were having a very important conversation...

#9 "Hey, Are You Winning?!"
Umm, this is an RPG with hundreds of quests and paths over dozens of hours, so it's really hard to say... "Cool! How many points you got? Sigh. [over 9000 that's how many! now go suck a needler]

#10 If You Suck, Admit You Suck
Give up the guitar. Step away from the drums. Let someone else join the race of fight. You had your chance and you had your fun. [or fail] Know when to walk away with at least a shred of dignity and goodwill intact.

#11 Dur Dur Dur Dur Dur
Oh yea, bumping into us in the middle of a competitive match is hilarious. Reaching over and messing with our controller is completely hysterical. Dying or crashing on pupose is the funniest thing ever. Ugh [see... now this can be fixed very easily... either you stop, or i shove my guest controller up your ass]

#12 Time Out
Oops! Your clumsy fingers have done it again. They've "accidentally" paused the game or hit the Guide button at the very moment you were about to lose. How convenient... [read above]

#13 Please Don't Patronize
Don't ask us what we're playing and what's going on in the game unless you really want to know. Complete obliviousness would be preferable to barely veiled expressions of absolute and utter disinterest.

#14 No, This Isn't "That Mario Game"
Every game ever made is not called Mario. Ditto for Pac-Man, Tetris, Doom, Myst, and Pong. We have not been playing the same thing for 25 years - except for when we're actually playing Pac-Man, Tetris, or Doom. Similarly, Gears of War is not Halo "with new guns' and Soulcalibur is not Street Fighter with "different graphics." [its actually surprising how often that happens to me...]

#15 Names Have Power
No, his name isn't "Zelda" it's Link. Marcus Fenix isn't called "Gears" ("Gears of War... yes, of the New Hampshire Wars") and that soldier guy isn't named "Wolfenstein". Sometimes videogames - like books, films, and television - are complex enough to contain characters with names separate from the title. Hard to believe, but true!

#16 Scared Stupid
If you're going to scream and run away each time an enemy fires a gun, swings a punch, or makes the slightest noise, perhaps you should sample a hobby other than videogames. [or jsut quit life...] We hear quilting is quite rewarding.

#18 Do The Research
Yes, games are full of foul language, awful violence, crude sexuality, and other mature situations. Proteste all you like, but at least protest the right offenders for the right reasons. If Fox News had sent a single email or made on phone call to BioWare, they would've been informed that Mass Effect was not a sex simulator. Why is ignorance so acceptable on this one particular subject? [oh fox... we love you so much...]

#19 Save!
For heaven's sake, please ask us questions if you don't know what you're doing, because constantly watching you start your Viva Pinata garden from scratch yet again is killing us inside. [no, not really... actually... i'm sorta laughing at you... but... really, don't ask me questions] And yes, we know you just want to run around punching people in GTA, but maybe if you saved, you could eventually run around and pucnch people on a totally new island. Oh, and while we're on the subject...

#20 Hold the Eff [fuck, the word is fuck, censorship is bad, and you're a bad magazine for promoting it] On
Whatever you want form us, we can't do anythign until we sace. No, really. No, nothing. You want to lose the last 45 minutes of your life, too? Then deal with it.

#21 Learn the Language of Gaming
A grace period for learning is understandable, of course - we're all beginners at the beginning, right? [psh no, i was always perfect] But if you can't muster enough patience to sit through a five-minute tutorial, [lol kh2] don't whine when you forget the controls. Don't complain when you end up having a conversation with a clearly non-interactive crate instead of the glowing, obviously interactive computer right next to it. And exactly how many times do we have to remind you which screen is yours in a multiplayer match before you memorize that simple, binary piece of information? [common sense... really?] This isn't calculus.

#22 Games Aren't That Immersive
If you could refrain from physically ducking, dodging, bobbing, and weaving every single time a bullet is fired or a vehicle drives past the sreen, you might look a lot less like you "hear voices" [theres nothing wrong with that!] and therefore, we might be willing to sit next to you again. Rest assured that when the Holodeck is finally invented, you can flop and flunce around as much as your heart desires.

#23 DON'T BE AN ENABLER
By purchasing licensed dreck (and the crappy sequelt to licensed dreck) simply because you recognize the celebrity on the front of the box or it's $20 in the bargain bin, you're pulling down the entire industry. Enter the Matrix sells millions while Okami sells thousands. Space Chimps and Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? get multi-platform releases, while Psychonauts [woo! tim schafer!] is denied a sequel. We all suffer becasue of someon's bad or poorly informed taste. Buy good games or don't buy games at all. PLEASE.

# 1 sucked, it was completely moronic. You can easily have it both ways.

I am completely guilty of #22, I whisper and make everyone around me whisper when I'm playing stealth games.

And to #23.
And I recently read that somewhere around 90% of games don't do well money wise, and a pretty big percent are considered failures.

Honestly the whole list seems bitchy, I feel bad for the people this guy has to play with.

I agree some of his points are anal, but he also makes some really good ones, especially number 23.

True enough, but we're all hardcore gamers, and who here has purchased either of the games mentioned?

well, none of us. But the article is directed towards non-gamers or the evil that is casual gamers.

And that's why I dissagree with it. The guy claims that people should ask questions and that they should just try and learn, but half of his complaints are just questions from curious people who don't know what's going on.

Overall, I think this dude misunderstands the difference between newb and noob. He needs to take a step back and look at what a douche he is making himself look like.

Well... yes, but i for one am an elitist douche, and would like to kindly ask all of the dumbass "casual gamers" to gtfo my hobby because they are fucking ruining it.

I just remembered something, the bargain bin thing on #23 is a stupid complaint in my opinion.
I was at the mall a few years ago and dug up 8 bucks out of my pockets and decided to look though the bargain bin and found Deus Ex Invisible War, seriously that game is great, for just $7.50 I liked the cover and the name so I read the back and decided to buy it. So I don't think it's wrong to buy something just because it's in the bargain bin.

Exactly.

I'll agree with everyone that he is indeed a douche, but kyle is right he has a few good points.

Which ones would those be?

23,22, and 18

23. If their sales suck, games go in the bargain bin. Therefore, buying games from the bargain bin will be the only thing to save Okami/Psychonauts.

22. Yes, by all means, don't get involved in the game, if you do, you're a FUCKING ASSHOLE.

18. I agree, but that's one, not a few.

Ok, so... what is this zombie game everyone is playing?

I'm starting wow again, and i need something to do when i'm not raiding.

DEAD FRONTIER, but you already knew that

yes, i GOOGLED it of all things...

GOOD.

http://designrampage.blogspot.com/2009/06/designing-ethical-dilemmas-slides-and.html

watch it please, its just 6:40, and it has a good point.

He contradicted himself. First he said that Bioshock messed up ethical delimmas because they made it a choice that effected the gameplay mechanics, but then he said a Star Wars game is a good example of creating obstacles for the player because the dark side of the force has more useful powers than the light side. That's the same thing, dude; you have to choose whether it's good or bad. Also, what he said about narrative is pretty obvious, it's been known since the dawn of time that if your story sucks then people won't get emotionally invested in it. However that isn't even completely true. It doesn't really matter how bad your story is, some people will always want to complete it, and when you stick with something for long enough, yuo are doomed to invest in it emotionaly because you spent a long amount of your life absorbed in it. That being said, I think he did bring up a very interesting point about the irreversable saves. Of course, it still isn't real permenance, just permenance in that world; you could always start a new game.

Guys i think something happened to Yahtzee.... its wednesday right? he... doesn't have a video whats going on!?!?!?!?

1. He has skipped Wednesdays before due to vacationing or whatever (I think it was a trip to Valve)
2. He usually puts things up late in the afternoon, timezones and all that

i completely forgot about that and am currently watching it. sorry...

Nice going, Kyler.